February 2013 Birchbox – Red Carpet Ready. With Nipple Lips.

Hello Subscription may earn compensation via links in this post. Read the full disclosure

After getting our Julep Cupid Mystery Box delivered to our door by the mail carrier, imagine my surprise when I found my February Birchbox waiting in my mailbox!

What’s in the box

Well either these are the BEST PRODUCTS EVER INVENTED or it’s the tiniest red carpet in the world. The inside card says that “February manages to pack a slew of big-ticket events into a brief 28 days.” Birchbox did not manage to “pack” anything into this box. I was underwhelmed. This was February Birchbox 28, if you’re wondering.


  • A Ghirardelli Caramel Square.
  • Beauty Protector: Protect & Detangle. some hair detangling stuff.
  • Dr. Jart+: Black Label Detox BB Beauty Balm. mineral SPF 25 & satiny matte finish.
  • Dr. Lipp: Original Nipple Balm for Lips. Yes that’s exactly what it says.
  • twistband: Thick Headband. in black.

What we liked

  • The kids ate the chocolate immediately. They get excited about chocolate in the boxes. But that’s an extra.
  • I am interested in the mineral SPF. Really interested. I need sunscreen but I hate it because it smells and makes my eyes tingle. I will enjoy sampling this product.

What we didn’t like

  • Ummm where’s my product? There’s like NOTHING IN THIS BOX.
  • The twistband is literally TOO SMALL for my BIG FAT HEAD. I was like okay, I wear 100% black, I can use this headband. I know they are somewhat pricey. IT DOESN’T FIT. IT SQUEEZES OFF.
  • Hahahahahaah nipple lips.
  • No seriously if I wanted nipple balm for my lips I would buy a tube of Lansinoh and be done with it. And seriously, I just looked it up. Dr. Lipp is made of lanolin. I don’t think it has any additional ingredients. RIPOFF. If you have had children you very likely have similar crap to apply to your lips. Just go hunt around in the diaper supplies until you find your lanolin. Stick it on your lips. Same diff.
  • hair detangler? BB seriously what do you not get about fine hair? I don’t even use conditioner. On my hair shine = grease. I don’t give a crap if the bottle says it’s for all hair types. Fine hair, you just don’t go there. My hair doesn’t really tangle. The last time I had a knot I was in the 7th grade.

Should you splurge?

Ummmm I usually like Birchbox a whole lot, but if every box was like this, run away.  The card inside said I could go online and see how to wear Emerald Green, Pantone’s 2013 color of the year. A mini emerald shadow would’ve been fun. Or a sample eyeliner. Or… SOMETHING. This box was a huge miss for me. In fact, it was kind of a steaming pile of TURDS.

ok, usual spiel. If I didn’t have a yearly sub, I’d have dumped Birchbox after this dud. It was crap. I heard on MakeupTalk that some women really liked this box. So based on that I am planning a TRASH N TREASURE GIVEAWAY! Come back to the blog tonight (it’s dinner/bath/bed time hours here peeps) for it! I am going to be giving away 3 products from this box plus more! It’s going to be super duper fun and one of you enjoying these products instead of making me feel sad about it is going to make me HAPPY again!

Birchbox is a monthly sampling box. You fill out your profile and Birchbox selects one of 30+ (!!) iterations of their boxes to send to you. Birchbox is a discovery service and you earn rewards points by subscribing and reviewing your products that you can spend on full-size items on their site.

You can check out more reviews in my directory!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • Kara

    Hi there! Even though I work for Kara’s Way, I subscribed to Birchbox and liked it, for the most part. It’s pretty affordable at $10 and I did receive occasional full sized items like a Stila eyeliner. Too bad you didn’t enjoy this one =( One tip I read on a message board is that to receive more “fun” color items, you need to put in your profile that you’re younger than 30. I haven’t tried this myself so YMMVl

    If you’re interested in reviewing a box for us, though (5-8 eco friendly beauty items), please shoot me an email and I’ll make sure it gets to the right person!

    • Brandy

      Would love to!

      I just checked – I changed my profile from wanting to splurge on face cream to the latest makeup color. GO FIGURE! I guess they assume you are purchasing those things for yourself? I don’t know…

  • Dani

    Hahahaha LOVED THIS! Yeah, that is a terrible box. Listen, I pay $15 for Green Grab Bag and I’m pretty sure I ALWAYS get a full sized something in there, so Birchbox has no excuse.

    I particularly object to “red carpet ready.” You could maybe get grocery store ready with this stuff….

  • tara

    nipple balm for lips?!!?!??!?!?! wtf

  • Leigh

    I like that samples are decent sized….I am disppointed in my box too though. I mean, chocolate and perfume should not count as samples! Just, no.

  • Angel

    I am sorry you didn’t like your box! I wish I had gotten the detangler, it would be great for my hair!

    • Kate @ Classy Living

      I haven’t been super happy with Birchbox in 2013 yet. I feel like they are seriously skimping on the samples – I haven’t received anything full size since JUNE!! And I hate that the twistbands are considered “samples” valued at $3+! That was the most expensive part of my box. Blah.